Archive for July, 2013

It has been 6 months since anything was shared on this blog. I wish I had some profound reason to give you for this. All I can say is that personally, I have been somewhat in a “crawl in my hole” place and have been struggling and wrestling with God on my own personal effectiveness in ministry and, as a result, I haven’t had alot to “give” for this blog. I’m sorry, sweet ladies. I’m sorry if I have dropped the ball. I believe in this blog. I believe that God can and wants to use it as a way for us to minister to each other. Thankfully, God speaks to us through others sometimes…and one of the most beautiful souls that I know awakened me from my self-pity a bit yesterday. Whitney McClendon has a powerful word to share with us this week….a word that I needed to hear.

– Kacey

Here’s Whitney:

“In September 2012, I was on maternity leave and during my last two weeks off the Lord began to reveal a new passion and purpose in my life. The more He revealed to me, the more I realized this is not my purpose but a concept to be adopted and implemented by the body of Christ. 10 months later, I’m sharing this with you and that is 10 months too late. It has transformed my life and changed how I see everything. Some of this was written back in September and now I have finished it. So it begins… praying for the surrender and freedom for anyone who reads this.

I have struggled with feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness most of my life…being “enough” never fulfilled itself.

I come from a family of wonderful women – women who strongly love and live solely for the Lord, but that does not erase or minimize struggle, nor should it hide the enemy’s tactics. I do not know the generation it originated from, but there has been a stronghold of unworthiness that has transferred from generation to generation. T

here are greater details in my testimony. However, He has given me pieces of my life to share so the urgency of this plan can be understood and then acted upon.

In 2002, I was a junior in high school and I went on a Chrysalis (retreat) that ignited my life. I felt so close to the Lord I became prideful and a few months later began the outward manifestation of image and control issues. Anorexia and bulimia plagued my life, which linked in further permission given to the enemy. He controlled me by polluting my thoughts and constantly tainted my self-worth, but he was only able to do so through my permission and choices that allowed him to “win” that moment. I wonder how my life would have changed had I not accepted his lies?

He “won” many moments and I struggled with anorexia and bulimia for the next five years, but it was different in 2007. I was a freshman at Tech and living in the dorms. I remember feeling a sense of satisfaction, as I stared into the toilet bowl. Sitting on the dorm bathroom floor (gross), with my finger stuck down my throat, it had never felt so good to throw up my food.

That’s when I knew a change needed to come.

I began to “take control” of the bulimia, however, through my choices and disbelief of who the Lord made me to be, a different kind of manifestation originated. Every time I worried (which was frequently) I was sick to my stomach and threw up. I could literally pinpoint the exact time I would throw up and could make myself throw up at any time. I had always justified my actions by saying, “I don’t do it after every meal” or “she has it way worse than I do.” It all originated from justified lies that stemmed from comparison, unworthiness, and inadequacy. But why? Where did they originate?

Any Christian knows or needs to know there are familiar struggles among believers. The same reigns true with women. The enemy does not invent new areas of attack – he hits women (and men too) in the areas he knows will work because they have worked since the fall in the garden. Think about it; imagine the unworthiness and inadequacy Eve felt when she gave in to the enemy. Furthermore, after Adam and Eve’s confession “Adam said the woman you gave me did it…” thus establishing strongholds of victimization and removal of responsibility. It is cyclical. It has not been redeemed, which has created generational bondage.

I heard Andy Andrews speak at a conference recently who simply put “thinking leads to choices, which facilitates actions that influence culture.” We have used “culture” as an excuse in not warring against these generational strongholds. Andy said “we cannot gain control of our choices before we gain control of our thinking.”

He continued “you will either create a culture or acquiesce to one.”

Why has it become culturally acceptable for every woman to struggle with identity issues or self-worth? It is time to conquer this and not acquiesce to it. You are worth it!!!

At the same conference, Christine Caine stated “there is a generation in the ditches of life because people have not been good stewards of their lives.” We are the ones who have the opportunity to be good stewards of people’s lives growing up after us, but we have to know who we are in Him in order to fully accomplish this.

Christine continued “when our heart stops beating for what God’s heart beats for, what happens to our culture?” God’s heart does not beat for the acceptance of the enemy’s lies. His heart beats for something MUCH greater!

Here this…if this generation, YOUR GENERATION, can be the one that breaks away generational and cultural curses, imagine how we could revolutionize the Kingdom. Break away the chains that bind us and our children to strongholds going back to the beginning of time. You are the one who has to redeem this and then influence generations before and after you.

I made the choice to be whole for Evelyn. I am asking you to make a choice; make the decision for wholeness in order to accept the blessings He has had for you from the beginning of your existence. Even if you do not feel “worthy” do it for those watching you so they do not establish their identities by your struggles. Your sons and daughters will have external influences that you cannot protect them from and they will have to make their own decisions, but it will be easier if they do not have to lug your baggage as well. Remove your baggage, transform your mind and experience freedom.

I do not blame any of this on my family; they are wonderful. The blame is mine for continuing the cycle in believing the lies of the enemy but he will not have permission with my daughter. I can say this with complete affirmation, I am glad I experienced all of this in my life in order to be a part of the freedom movement. IT IS HERE. He wants freedom for you more than you yearn for it.

The Lord is still revealing things to me but I will share with you what He has given me so far:

1) Pray you begin to see how the Father sees you. It is life changing if you can catch even a glimpse of His obsession with you.

2) Pray for your children to understand their identity and have a firm foundation in the truth.

3) Guard your mouth…this teaches your children what healthy looks like. They do not need to hear your thoughts on how “fat, ugly, unworthy or inadequate” you feel because this demonstrates how they are supposed to see themselves. This also trains you to not speak curses over yourself.

4) Do not compare yourself to anyone. He is not comparing you to anyone but Jesus so why do we gauge our purpose/appearance/worth against imperfect people. If you are dissatisfied with your appearance figure out what needs to be done or what healing needs to take place to renovate your mind.

5) Transform your thinking…transform your thinking to His thinking. When you hear the lies, combat it with truth from the Father. Let’s change our culture.

6) Bless yourself. Do not speak curses over yourself. Choose to live by and know the truth.

7) Seek redemption in areas of your life where you gave the enemy permission. If you gave permission in one area, see what other areas of your life are manifesting that permission.

I will protect Evelyn for as long as I can. I want her to know, I WANT YOU TO KNOW, you are beautiful and chosen by the Most High, the One who simply delights in your life. You are a part of many “somebody’s” who make up the body of Christ, but the Lord who knows you and has created you to fulfill something only YOU can do in the Kingdom. The same spirit who resurrected Jesus lives within you.

Wake Up!!!! It is time for the church to arise and fulfill the recent prophecy that our nation is on the cusp of the greatest awakening. Be empowered and know that you are loved…you are beautiful…you are accepted…you are cherished…you are forgiven…you are worth it!!

– Whitney

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: